A few weeks ago our sporty little car was attacked viciously by a shopping cart. The shopping cart claims that our car pulled out in front of it, but due to the fact that our car was parked, adds little support to his claim. Though further investigation is needed the motive seems clear. . . jealously.
"There is no other explanation" officer Jones states. "It appears to be a simple case of transportation jealousy." It is actually quite common to find carts, buggies and other small vehicles get tired of being pushed around. It only seems natural that they would take it out on their superiors"
The owner of the car, Colby Olsen was furious at the news that his 1996 Ford Taurus was victimized in such a deplorable crime. "I just don't understand why something could hurt such a beautiful thing as this car. I don't know what I'm going to do now. I was going to enter it into the cache valley cruise in this summer but now it is all in vein."
The cart was taken into custody and released on bail. Soon after his release he supposedly split the parking lot and did not show for his court appearance. If anybody has any information leading to the arrest of this suspect, please contact the department of parking security. The suspect is 3 ft 4. Chrome, with a blue handle. He is suspected to be armed and very dangerous.